I picked the word “Desire” as my 2024 word of the year.

It proved to be tough word, but a one that stuck with me more often than it floated off like past years.

I didn’t indulge every desire. In fact, more of my effort was spent trying to identify my desires than making them come to pass. It’s hard work for an enneagram 9.

Paying attention to my desires is a gift I haven’t given myself for decades. I used to think this was very pious of myself. I wore it like a badge of honor.

“Oh don’t worry about me!” “I’m good with whatever!” “I’m flexible!”

All of these things are true about me. But I have also spent a lot of my life robbing myself of the very human and fulfilling experience of wanting anything out of my life.

At this point many of us have faced advocacy burnout as bad news keeps coming one wave after another after another. Before I go on, know I believe deeply in fighting for change where we want to see it, and my purpose here is to make sure that you're up to the task as the most whole version of yourself.

We all access our stress-coping behaviors when we feel pressure. If you know yourself, you're probably aware of what parts of your stress response you like and don't like. If you know enneagram, you're probably aware of what stress means when it comes to your type. The reality for all of us is that when we are under pressure, our brains and our bodies will adapt to help us get through it. So what can naming the pressures of the holiday do for you?

It was 2019 and I had gotten back into regular counseling. The day's topic was the miscarriage I had recently experienced, and further processing of the sudden death of my cousin's husband a few months prior. I was choking back tears (because even in counseling then, I didn't feel permission to cry) and told her…