Blessed And Burdened
We are blessed and burdened with awareness.
In the past, before information traveled so quickly, communities and individuals were often only aware of the brutality nearby. Some lived happier yet unaware. Evils ran rampant in secret.
Now we know. We can address. And we can “fix." But not all of it everywhere all at one time. So how does a modern-day person handle all this trauma without shutting down?
At this point, many of us have faced advocacy burnout as bad news keeps coming one wave after another after another. Before I go on, know I believe deeply in fighting for change where we want to see it, and my purpose here is to make sure that you're up to the task as the most whole version of yourself.
I'm right here with you trying to figure out exactly how to cope with day after day of bad news. And while I don't have answers, after all science and psychology are just beginning to scratch the surface of what we need in this new era of awareness, I do have practices. My practices start with this recognition: we are a new generation of humans. Our brains are the first of the human species to ingest so much information so quickly.
In terms of information alone, we take in at least 5x more of it than we did 30 years ago. Now think about the trauma wrapped up in so much of this information - often consumed by surprise. This is uncharted territory for the human brain.
To begin cultivating a bit more Compassionate Confidence in yourself, start right here with the fact that we are in uncharted territory. Let's start the journey by giving ourselves a break for having to take this journey in the first place. It's not that people before you have handled things better. It's not that you're sensitive or easily distracted. While some of us do factor in variations like ADHD, anxiety, and sensory processing issues, the truth of the matter is that no group of humans has walked this planet processing as much information in a lifetime as we are right now. That is significant.
When we start from the shared reality of our current condition, we can work in a few other practices that help me embrace grace in my journey of growth. Here's what I've got for you:
1) Quit scrolling. When our dopamine-filled social media scroll turns into news of another tragedy, it's only natural to want to keep scrolling. We're looking for more information that will help the jarring information make sense. I found out about the most recent school shooting in Nashville via Sharon McMahon's Instagram stories, and the progression of her day's stories embody this exactly. She started her day hopping on with a few jokes about her book editing deadlines, promising she would be back to us on the stories one day through a few chuckles. And then the very next story slide was text only announcing the news of another gun violence tragedy in our nation. Y'all, that's JARRING. It's not Sharon's fault and it's not the internet's fault. But we need to understand that our brains flip into overtime trying to make sense of the roller coaster that is laughing about book deadline jokes to the reeling horror of children dying in their classrooms. I went back to Sharon several times throughout the day Monday because she is a voice of reason and a voice I trust. But I realized (hours later) that I was looking to her to make it make sense. Sharon is good, but this was too large of an ask for her. I wish I could wrap up this story by saying I took my own advice, but the truth is I found myself breaking my social media screen time limits to go back for more information that could heal as quickly as it hurt. It didn't work.
2) Get present. For some of us meditation will do the trick. Some of us need to get our hands dirty in clay or paint. Some of us need to feel and smell our kid's hair in spite of their lack of good shampoo skills. Some of us need to smell calming essential oils. Some of us need to feel the sun on our skin. Whatever your thing is, do it. Get ruthlessly present in your here and now and take it all in. Resist the urge to tidy up the swirl of emotions that may surface. Laugh at the innocence of your kids dancing to GoNoodle videos. Cry for the parents wishing they could do the same. Breathe in. Breathe out. Recognize the wild reality that this moment in front of you is life in its fullness.
3) Be nice to yourself. “The machine" says get back to it, you! The truth is the day (days, week, weeks...) after processing trauma, no matter how physically close you are to it, can be difficult. You may not be able to jump right back in and create or produce the way you could yesterday. I've been guilty of looking at myself in frustration saying “I don't know why this is impacting me so much, but it is." It is. It should. Tragedy and evil should impact us deeply when we learn of them. If it wasn't impacting us, then something would be truly wrong. The real issue is today we are processing this kind of information regularly - some of us daily, so we think we should be able to get on as usual. Truthfully, getting on as usual in the face of tragedy is not normal. Let's give ourselves the space to be empathetic human beings, both sensitive to the effects of evil and strong enough to fight back - just not usually both of these in the same moment.
We humans have never been so globally connected. In so many ways this global connection is a gift, showing us the wonder in diverse experiences, exposing us to beauty we would otherwise never see, and feeding us flavors that would have never been ours to taste. But in other ways, this global connection and lightening fast information transfer is a burden. We may be shouldering the burdens of the entire world if a constant intake of the news cycle is part of our day-to-day.
This is new territory, friend. We each need to find our balance of healthy awareness coupled with connection to our fellow humans and healthy emotional boundaries. This balance will look a bit different for each of us and it will take work to find. Here's what I know it doesn't look like: the extremes. Balance won't be a state of constant rage. Balance will not be an aloof smile paired with words minimizing the struggle of other humans. Balance will be the grit of both joy and sorrow swirled together, filling the corners of our lives with the complexity of living it out on Planet Earth.
Some days we'll walk the balance well. Other days we won't. Each day grace is ours to take up as we continue to learn how to be a whole human living in 2023.
I put together a download to help you implement the three practices I listed above. You can print it out or use the markup feature on your phone with this download. The purpose of this download is to help you set a game plan for grounding today. If you find it helpful, clear your copy (or print another one) and use it again tomorrow.
In the zip file you’ll find a blank guide and the same guide with suggestions in each section.
Today, may you give yourself the space and kindness to be a human taking in more information than your ancestors before you could even fathom. I'm with you on this journey. ❤️
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