Do You need A Spiritual Practice Refresh?
Raise your hand if you’ve experienced the phenomenon of making space to engage in a spiritual practice only to slapped in the face by a wave of guilt instead of the warm embrace of God?
Me too.
For years.
Based on my experience, many of us who grew up in the evangelical church experienced the deadly combo of a narrow set of Christian practices, the demands to conform to authority in quick obedience, and depravity theology. This wild mix of don’t trust yourself plus God only meets us in certain settings as we engage in certain ways swings the door open for guilt-filled attempts to connect with God as the default.
In my life, the result of this type of formation was a girl who struggled hard with perfectionism and people pleasing. Talk about a limiting way to engage with the world or with God!
It wasn’t until I hit my 30s that the lightbulb went off for me as I opened my Bible one morning and faced the wall of guilt that greeted me—I don’t think God wants our relationship to feel like this.
When I left my church job in 2021, I gave myself full permission to stop all of my spiritual practices (which were still the narrow standard of read your Bible, pray, and go to church) cold turkey. I decided that if I started to pray, read my Bible, or prep for a church service and felt that familiar wave of guilt hit, I wasn’t ready to reengage yet.
It was the best choice I’ve made for my spiritual formation.
When I talk about stopping my Bible reading, prayer, and church attendance cold turkey for more than a year, people raise their eyebrows and look at me wondering if they have the same permission. Even though I can’t see your eyebrows raising on the other side of the screen, I want to offer you that permission as well as some suggestions on how to stay connected to God in new ways based on your enneagram type.
First let’s start with a little evaluation to find out if your spiritual practices are in need of a make over:
Do you experience the wave of guilt when you make space to engage in your current spiritual practices? Do you find yourself procrastinating or avoiding these practices altogether because of how you feel when you begin (even if you feel better after)?
Do you feel like your spiritual life is compartmentalized in your schedule and your mind?
Are you distracted, bored, or hurried as you engage in your spiritual practices?
Do you feel like you don’t know how to hear from God in the ways you hear others confidently describing?
Do you feel “stuck” or “stagnant” in your spiritual growth? Are you trying to dig deeper into certainties or theologies to deepen your faith?
Are you frustrated because you’re not seeing the fruit of the spirit growing in your character?
If you answered “yes” to most of these, it’s time for a spiritual refresh! And you have full permission to drop the practices that seem married to guilt or shame.
Some people are afraid that if they drop the spiritual practices they are familiar with that they will never pick them up again. Let my story encourage you!
When I stopped everything at the end of 2021, I stayed away from all those familiar practices for a little more than a year. And then the strangest thing started happening to me, a first in my life—I wanted to reengage those practices! But a lot happened before that so let’s get into it.
One of my favorite spiritual guides is Emily P Freeman. Her soothing podcast voice was a constant companion during my spiritual practice hiatus, and one thing she repeated often was the idea of “unconventional spiritual practices.” Emily regularly invites her listeners to notice God in the mundane spaces of our daily lives. Pulling from church fathers and mothers, she shares with us how everything can be spiritual, God-glimmers are all around! And even better, God loves showing up wherever we look for Them.
Have you ever unboxed God in your life? I often say God is the world’s worst hide-and-seek player. God wants to walk alongside us, this is part of the scandal of the God I believe in. A God who isn’t aloof or far, but a God who went as far as to wear flesh to understand the human experience in a first-hand way. And God isn’t disappointed by your brand of spiritual relationship.
So what are some ways you can engage with God outside of the prescribed Bible-reading, prayer, and church attendance? As your local enneagram and spiritual formation nerd, I’ve got a list for you!
As I was reading Emily’s latest book “How To Walk Into A Room” I was delighted to stumble over a concept she adapted from Gary Thomas about 9 sacred pathways to connecting with God. And of course seeing that magic number 9 had my wheels turning right away. I went to work trying to assign enneagram types to each type of spiritual pathway, but as I worked, I noticed that I was identifying comfort zones and stretch zones for each type. And I firmly believe that we need both in different seasons of life. So below you’ll see which SP types are your enneagram types comfort zones and which ones might stretch you based on your growth path. Let’s dive in*:
Naturalists: Enneagram 9, 7 comfort zone; Enneagram 3, 1 stretch zone.
* “Naturalists love God through the natural world and feel closest to God outside in the midst of creation. Whether it's the mountains, forest, or ocean, being in nature awakens the naturalist to God's presence and beauty.”
Comfort Zone Types: 9s and 7s both love a good meander through nature. 9s and 7s find themselves naturally able to go with the flow which is a demand of the natural world. Fresh air, beautiful scenery, and an unexpected side-quest means we can find God in moss, tree roots, and wildflowers.
Stretch Zone Types: Enneagram 3s and 1s find themselves in need of a goal and often times a hike where you start and end at the same location doesn’t scratch that itch. These two types can struggle to stop and smell the roses, but when they stretch themselves to do just that they will access the grace-filled parts of themselves and find God smiling there too.
Sensates: Enneagram 4, 3 comfort zone; Enneagram 9, 6 stretch zone
“Sensates connect with God through the experience of the senses: beautiful music, compelling art, or even through the simple light or smell of a warm candle.”
Comfort Zone Types: Types 3 and 4 love a vibe. Show a 3 a masterpiece or a place of luxury and they get a glimpse of heaven. The best of the best reminds them what God wants—flourishing. Type 4s love the details and unique intricacies of the senses as it opens up their emotional world to new depths.
Stretch Zone Types: Type 9s can find themselves easily disembodied as they struggle with the connection to their gut center. Finding ways to reconnect with their senses with bring them back into their two-feet to find that God meets them in their bodies as well. Type 6s have a draw to collect experiences and items for their utility instead of their experience. When a 6 allows their eternal focus on the horizon to dissolve away in favor of the full experience of the present moment, they can begin to rest more in God’s protective presence.
Traditionalists: Enneagram 1, 6 comfort zone; Enneagram 7, 3 stretch zone
“Traditionalists are drawn to ritual and symbol, embracing the historic dimensions of their faith. They may enjoy God through habits like morning and evening prayer or liturgical practices with a faith community.”
Comfort Zone Types: Enneagram 1s and 6s love a good structure. One where we all follow the same order and life is predictable and excellent. This structure allows them to let go of those inner voices who demand their attention so often and engage with God more fully.
Stretch Zone Types: Ritual and tradition can pack the one-two punch of being boring and slow, two things types 3 & 7 hate. Even though they may be tempted to check their watches or streamline the processes, when they allow themselves to engage in the repetitive liturgies, they may find themselves able to welcome in the less positive feeling emotions that they worry will slow them down. And there they will find a God who is willing to sit with them even in those negative feelings.
Ascetics: Enneagram 5, 4 comfort zone; Enneagram 8, 7 stretch zone
“Ascetics connect with God through meditation, simplicity, or journaling. They are drawn to silence and solitude and tend to avoid what they might call the ‘trappings of religion and the noise of the outside world.’”
Comfort Zone Types: Types 4 & 5 love a deep dive into their inner worlds. 4s love to feel their way through the depths while 5s think their way through them. These types are not afraid to be silent or alone, and when they engage these practices they find a God who is happy to wade into the depths with them too.
Stretch Zone Types: These two types struggle with the slow, quiet practices because the possibility of facing their own short-comings or negative qualities feels almost impossible to bear. Ascetic practices tend to be the opposite of intensity, opting for depth instead. And when 8s and 7s choose to engage in this low and slow way of being from time to time, they find a God who is willing to to wrap them up in the nurturing warmth these types can crave.
Activists: Enneagram 8, 1 comfort zone; Enneagram 9, 4 stretch zone
“Activists are compelled by a greater vision for the world. Confronting corrupt systems, standing up for the marginalized, and fighting for justice and equity are ways they most deeply connect with the Divine.”
Comfort Zone Types: Though they have their own ways of going about it, 8s and 1s come alive when they connect their sense of purpose to justice. As they engage in making the world a better place, they firmly grab hold of God’s hands in active partnership on behalf of the least of these.
Stretch Zone Types: Though type 9s are also found in the gut center and crave justice, they often lack the confidence to interrupt corrupt systems. The shadow side of 9s can be peacekeeping which is actually maintaining a false sense of peace via the status quo, ignoring the high stakes demands of justice, or peacemaking, altogether. Type 4s also struggle to access their gut centers often getting stuck in emotions or details over action. When these two types take a stand and accept their invitation into action with God, their ability to empathize and think holistically can bring about just solutions with God’s individualized love and care written all over them.
Caregivers: Enneagram 2, 6 comfort zone; Enneagram 3, 8 stretch zone
“Caregivers are drawn to other people and experience God most profoundly when loving others, even if it calls for significant sacrifice on their part. They love God best as they love others well.”
Comfort Zone Types: Twos and 6s often mistype for one another because of their draw toward caring for others even when it costs them. These two types embody the loving care of God by meeting others where they are and sticking beside them until they are able to thrive.
Stretch Zone Types: Loving people isn’t efficient. When you have a draw toward constant forward motion, embodying Good Samaritan practice of being interrupted can be a stretch. But when 8s and 3s shift their focus from the bottom line to the people in their care, they create mutually beneficial systems that lift up every person. As they do this, they experience first hand the words of Jesus in Matthew 25 as they experience God in the least of these.
Enthusiasts: Enneagram 7, 8 comfort zone; Enneagram 1, 5 stretch zone
“Enthusiasts are compelled by worship, music, and mystery. They are energized to express their connection with God through joyful celebration.”
Comfort Zone Types: Turn up the volume, make it a 24-hour revival, bring the people. Types 7 & 8 thrive in these big expressions of worship. When they engage in these types of events, they find themselves fully present and wrapped up in the intensity. They revel in the the thick presence of the Spirit in the air that often manifests in these large settings.
Stretch Zone Types: Types 1 & 5 can find themselves stretched in communal settings. Norms will be broken. Songs might be extended when “the spirit moves.” They feel their social batteries and tolerance for shenanigans deteriorating quickly. But when these types set aside the mental realities that can dominate their attention, they will access their emotional centers in new ways and discover that God comes alive there as well.
Contemplatives: Enneagram 2, 9 comfort zone; Enneagram 6, 2 stretch zone
“Contemplatives may have a rich, inner life of prayer and are drawn to God through adoration. They ‘seek to love God with the purest, deepest, and brightest love imaginable.’”
Comfort Zone Types: The deep connection to God that contemplative practices can facilitate make the draw toward these practices compelling for types 9 & 2. As 2s search for a moment to slow, and 9s enter their idealistic inner world, they can access imaginative prayers where Jesus wraps them in a big hug and offers a warm, loving smile inviting the rest and acceptance they crave.
Stretch Zone Types: I know this looks like a mistake… I actually tried to do this differently and then decided not to because 2s are showing up in both comfort zones and stretch zones here, but hear me out! While 2s crave love, intimacy, and acceptance they often convince themselves they aren’t worth it unless they are out there earning it. 6s can also find silence and the simplicity of being still to be a stretch as their inner committee shouts out the endless lists of possibilities ahead. When these two types choose to slow down and simply exist in the presence of God, they find a renewed sense of worth and peace rooted in God’s declaration of their belovedness.
Intellectuals: Enneagram 3, 5 comfort zone; Enneagram 2, 4 stretch zone
“Intellectuals love God through the mind and come alive when they have the space to think deeply about theology.”
Comfort Zone Types: If you’ve ever had a close relationship with a 3 or 5, you’ll know they love to learn. Getting deeper into a subject, collecting new books, and connecting new dots brings these types to life. As they engage in these theological scavenger hunts, they find a God who created the working mechanics of the universe, delighted in their discoveries.
Stretch Zone Types: Fun facts with no feels or practical application can make it difficult for 2s and 4s to pick up a theology book. But when they choose to think deeply about how God might exist and operate in the universe, they find themselves able to be more objective as they choose how to show up in the world, freeing them from the weight of shame that can cloud their view of God at times.
A berry bowl made with my two hands.
A reminder that my presence makes an impact on the real world.
As you reevaluate your spiritual practices, I want to encourage you to lean in to your comfort zone and tip-toe into your stretch zone. Consider what connecting with God looks like in these different ways and let yourself get creative.
As a type 9, when I need to get back in touch with my body, I throw pottery. I consider this a Sensate practice that forces me to pay attention to my breath and the feel of clay in my hands. I have to be intentional with what I’m listening to and if I’m holding tension or anxiety in my body in ways I hadn’t noticed before. I can’t show up to the wheel hungry and I have to let go of my compulsion to justify my presence by being useful to someone else. Throwing pottery for me doesn’t always lead to a finished product because I’m still learning. This forces me to embrace the process over the end result. And this practice of engaging in my body, my desires, fun, and learning something for the heck of it has introduced me to the God who enjoys a process. The God who took Their time creating the world we live in. The God who is patient with the slow work of spiritual formation. And every time I throw, I come out of my little laundry room studio feeling refreshed in my relationship with God.
Me in my basement studio/laundry room feeling proud of a vessel that I ruined later.
So what does a fresh, unconventional spiritual practice look like for you right now? Did these categories resonate? Do you disagree? Where is your growing edge? How might God be beckoning you to connect with Godself in ways you’re already wired to do so?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Let me know what you try and then come back in a few weeks and let me know how it’s going!
*This list is my opinion and not at all exhaustive or concrete. We all embody our core type differently and so these categorizations are based on the broad enneagram concepts. Basically, take it with a grain of salt and I’m happy to hear how things differ or resonate for you!
*These summaries are taken from Emily P Freeman’s book “How To Walk Into A Room”
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