We all access our stress-coping behaviors when we feel pressure. If you know yourself, you're probably aware of what parts of your stress response you like and don't like. If you know enneagram, you're probably aware of what stress means when it comes to your type. The reality for all of us is that when we are under pressure, our brains and our bodies will adapt to help us get through it. So what can naming the pressures of the holiday do for you?

I start out every new year with a birthday. Just 5 days into a new year, the number that defines my time here on earth goes up. Honestly, it doesn't really feel like the new year begins until after my birthday. I don't like to go back to work before then. I don't tend to try to start resolutions before then. I just give myself the birthday gift of an extra 5 days of rest and celebration.

I also tend to do a lot of reflecting on those days. Reflection - in a more honest sense, often ruminating, comes pretty naturally to me. I love the movie Inside Out because I can remember, in my own maturing, when my islands of personality fell and were rebuilt. And I take notice of my islands of personality crashing within me even today.

My 33rd year held a lot of crashing and rebuilding.

It was 2019 and I had gotten back into regular counseling. The day's topic was the miscarriage I had recently experienced, and further processing of the sudden death of my cousin's husband a few months prior. I was choking back tears (because even in counseling then, I didn't feel permission to cry) and told her…

When we say “faith over fear” are we actually saying “my fear over your fear?” Today, I have genuinely been asking myself this question and others. Is my position truly faith-based, or fear-based? Have I ranked my fears into what’s most terrifying to me, helping me determine my course of action, or am I truly placing my faith in God? Also, is it ok to rank my fears to help make my choices?