What Is Coaching With Me Like Anyway?
Now that I’ve shared my passion for people who find themselves in a faith transition (aka deconstructing), I’m having a lot more conversations with people who are asking hard questions about what they believe. It’s most often in one of these processing conversations that I hear “So this must be what your coaching is like, right?”
And my answer is always “Well, not exactly.”
There are many deconstruction/faith coaches and groups out there focused on helping people process the specifics of their beliefs and theologies, but that’s not what I’m interested in doing.
I’m interested in empowering you on your spiritual journey.
I find that many of us who grew up in the Evangelical (and often Catholic) Church have a hole in our formation when it comes to discernment. We tend to lean heavily on a narrow set of systematic theologies, institutional interpretations, and spiritual authorities when it comes to what we believe and making choices for our lives that stay “in line” with our belief system.
The practice of discernment is often overlooked or replaced with the practice of deferment.
Throughout my ministry career (and even before as a student ministry member and university student), I would hear again and again that people struggled to know if God was speaking to them. They would feel paralyzed when faced with a big decision because “What if I make a choice that doesn’t honor God.”
This has always left me wondering, why is there a huge discernment-shaped hole in our formation? I have a few theories:
Our faith culture can get obsessed with Satanic panic and cause people to feel afraid of being tricked by the devil into doing an evil thing that seems innocent on the outside. (By the way, I don’t think you are ever letting demons in your house through TV shows).
We twist the words “take up your cross” and “deny your faith” and cause people to feel that they are not worthy of their own trust - or even love.
We’ve made our entire faith thought-based. Knowing the facts, contexts, systematic theologies, apologetics, and so on has become the gold standard of a solid faith framework. And that leaves the majority of us out in the cold when it comes to “knowing God’s will.” After all, we can’t all afford or make time for a seminary degree.
And I hate that this is how we’ve disempowered ordinary people’s connection to God.
In fact, I think it’s anti-God what we’ve done. In Biblical stories, God has a thing for choosing the unqualified, the overlooked, the oppressed, and the othered to bring about Kingdom business here on earth.
This demonizing of self, elevation of thought, and preying on fear then create a sense of panic and paralysis when you hit the inevitable faith crises of life. Often, people wrap their very identities into their beliefs, and then when something doesn’t add up anymore, you’re facing a full-on identity crisis. And you are left without any tools that help you discern your way forward.
This is where I step in.
My coaching sessions are all about getting you acquainted with yourself and working toward your wholeness.
I don’t spend time picking apart every belief you’ve been taught and giving you a “better” way to believe. If you want to process a belief together - ok sure! But this isn’t my focus.
My focus in enneagram coaching is to help you meet the masterpiece that is you.
As I mentioned above, twisting ideas of “flesh” and denying yourself can muddle your identity before you are ever able to fully form it. We are quickly taught to be suspicious of our desires and intuitions instead of learning first that we are Image Bearers called “good” from the outset.
What if you could believe that at your true core, you are good? What if you believed you are beloved? What if God wired you to desire the Divine design of creation? What if you truly believed that all the goodness of God is already in you, calling you forward since the beginning of your life?
This is how I approach enneagram learning. I want you to see you are uniquely good. Your personality isn’t a liability. It is a gift! I believe learning to see what your personality is motivated to pursue and avoid can become the single greatest step toward your wholeness (and dare I say sanctification.)
What if you could see yourself as the masterpiece creation God declared you to be instead of the failing sinner you’ve fixated on your whole life?
It is my greatest joy to even think about this shift happening in you and the other people I will coach. Watching the aha moment of self-acceptance unfold across people’s faces is an experience that cannot be beaten for me.
And here’s the most theologically true thing I will say in this entire article - God has already accepted you, so when you finally get around to accepting yourself too, you’re stepping right into God’s will for your life.
Once you are familiar with and accepting of your inner workings, we can move to other areas like naming your personal values with my Values Coaching package or creating your intentional rhythm of life with my Rhythms Coaching package. Both of these focus areas are about continuing to bring out your capability to discern and connect with the Divine in the unique way you have been created to do so.
My passion is to see you grow more wholly into you. Because I think you were made to be a masterpiece.
My friend, whole people make healthy communities. And healthy communities, they can change the world.
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